:: Jules' Blog ::

:: Wednesday, July 30, 2003 ::

Like a Dung Fountain... :o) We like Joel. We are also rather partial to The Moon.

I got shat on today! There I was, happily doing my running duties, when I looked over my shoulder and spied - a poo! Just a little one, but a poo, all the same. A long thin poo, like it had come from a caterpillar, or some such insect. I don't quite know how it managed to find its way onto my shoulder, do its filthy business and escape again without me noticing, or anyone telling me at least. Hmm, maybe I'll ask the other runners tomorrow if they saw anything straining on my shoulder.

Speaking of insects (to the tune of 'London's Burning')...

#Flying Ant Day, Flying Ant Day,
Little Buggers, Little Buggers,
Pull their wings off, pull their wings off,
Walking Ant Day, Walking Ant Day#

:: Jules 8:35 PM [+] ::
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Hooray for corporate events. Hooray for free booze and food! Mmmm...bar-be-cue... (/Homer voice). I got tanked up on free beer last night and forgot to wake up this morning! Fortunately I was on a late shift. My job does have its benefits!

Yesterday morning, it being a particularly blonde day, I got on the tube, sat down, and settled in to read my paper...it wasn't 'til I'd got to Tottenham Court Road that I realised I was going the WRONG WAY! So, I casually got up, shimmied off the train, and legged it across the platform to catch the train going in the opposite direction. Dumbass...

Ooh, ooh - it's National Blonde Day on August 1st! Hooray for blondes!

:: Jules 10:39 PM [+] ::
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I just gave some guys the shittiest directions ever! I'd just got off the bus and was waiting to cross the road when this car stopped beside me and this bloke said "scuse me, do you know where the Cap and something or other pub is?" "Er, no, I don't know" said I. "But there's a pub over the crossroads that used to be a Burger King. That might be it". And off they went. It wasn't until I got home that I realised that the place I'd told them about used to be a pub, and is now a Burger King - not the other way round! Oops!

Ooh, I do believe it's Terminator Night on Five! I've never seen the first one so I'll be settling in for that with my bag of popcorn (which I was forced to buy, incidentally)...

...Ah crap! I just looked at the listings and they're only showing Terminator 2! I've seen that one! What's the point of calling it Terminator Night if you're only going to show one film?! Oh well.

I got very scared by my breasts earlier. I happened to glance in a downwards direction and went "wuah!" Like my brain didn't understand what they were doing there. It was most surreal...

:: Jules 4:22 PM [+] ::
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That is so footist! I just heard an advert on the radio where this woman was trying to squeeze into a pair of shoes because they were half price, and the assistant gave her another pair and said "Here you are madam. Size nine. WIDE." Like it was a bad thing! There's nowt wrong with having big footsies. I'm unstable enough as it is, if my feet were any smaller I'd be constantly on the floor! (I'm not size nine, but close enough). I think the advert was for Vodafone. Weird...

So, did we all see Big Brother last night then? Yay Cameron! It didn't seem as much of a big thing as it was when Kate won last year, although I'm sure I heard someone letting off fireworks somewhere near my house. Freaks! And why do they still do the money transfer thing? It's so cheesy! Even Davina was taking the piss. "And now let's see £70,000 being transferred from Big Brother's account to Cameron's. Woo." I particularly liked the "Brian To Win" banner! Hee hee.

Has anyone heard R. Kelly's new song? "Like two gorillas in de jungle, making luuuuurve" has got to be the greatest line from a song that I've heard in a long time.

Is it just me, or have Garfield's feet got bigger?

:: Jules 12:25 PM [+] ::
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Something woke me up at about 4am this morning. I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not sure why.

Anyway, I opened my eyes and saw something round and black sitting on the pillow next to my face. I can't see well at the best of times, but when there's only a tiny bit of light coming through my blinds, I've just woken up and I'm not wearing my lenses, I'm pretty much blind. But this, I saw. After getting my wits about me I realised it must be some sort of insect that had crawled through my window to sleep beside me. A big insect mind you, it was about the size and shape of a bumble bee. I thought it was probably a beetle. I don't like beetles. Ever since one crawled under my leg in a taxi in Greece I've disliked them.

So, what should I do, thought I. If I turn the light on it might wake up and attack me (as beetles do, obviously). So I decided to find some sort of receptacle to catch it in. The only receptacle which came to hand (I didn't want to move too much in case I disturbed it) was my water glass. Full of water. Having drank an entire glass of water, I carefully placed the glass over said beetle, ready to throw it out of the window. At which point I turned on the light, safe in the knowledge it could no longer get me...

...And that was the scariest god-damned hair bobble I've ever seen!

:: Jules 1:12 PM [+] ::
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My arms will be two foot longer by the end of this week! Have you ever tried carrying 7 litres of water in each hand for a long distance? I have. I can't even scratch my back now, my muscles ache so much! Oh well, look on the bright side, I might get some nice beery muscles out of it! (That was supposed to say "beefy", but I think the first version's better!)

Don't go on public transport. Buses are hot, trains are sweltering and the tube is is like a hellish inferno, with small imps leaping around pointing blow-torches in my general direction. Or maybe I was hallucinating...

Isn't summer grrrrreat!

Dave's had a wisdom tooth out. All together now: #Gummi Bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere...#

:: Jules 8:31 PM [+] ::
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Snottogram phase one: Success!

I got a package in the post on Friday morning. "Ooh" thought I, "Maybe I've won a competition". Ripping open the jiffy bag on the way to the train station so as not to miss my train (I did anyway), completely ignoring the covering letter (much to Dave's amusement. Dave being Dave the graduate, who now owns a nice perky mortarboard - fancy dress party anyone? Bagsy the dreadlock hat!). Within said jiffy bag was...a packet of (slightly squished, naturally) hair dye! In my colour! (Not that I'm not a natural blonde or anything you understand!) I opened the covering letter on arrival at the train station when realising that my train would not be arriving for 20 minutes. Garnier are "very sorry that [I] have had to contact [them] regarding the problem that [I] have experienced." They then go on to say "Please find enclosed a voucher to the value of the product purchased" (£6. It's £3.99 in Wilkos!) "Together with a complimentary pack for your next application..."

I love complaining. Still no word from Sainsbury's yet...

I walked into work yesterday to find a puddle of chemicals on the floor (someone had forgotten to turn the tap off) and about 45 films which were supposed to be ready for that day (someone had forgotten to do any work). so I spent the whole day clearing up the Saturday staff's mess. I was not a happy bunny. Apparently they dragged the girl who was running the lab out at 4:30 to work on the counter. Unfortunately, the last hour of the day is usually spent tying up any loose ends and making the place manageable for the next day. Manageable it weren't. In return for my supervisor's crappiness, and the fact that he didn't phone to check I could work yesterday, I have left the message that I can't work next Sunday with someone who is highly likely to forget to pass it on :o) That'll teach 'em!

This week I'm on the East Tower shift. East Tower is quite a trundle from the runners' kitchen (but it involves going outside which was rather nice today). So I have to go over there in the morning and stock up their (tiny) fridge with drinks (which are immediately snatched out of my hands by the staff), then do drinks runs every hour or so. Unfortunately there isn't a coffee machine in East Tower, and people always ask for cappuccinos and lattes, so I have to go back to TVC to make the drinks, then bring them all back while trying not to spill them. There was one guy today who insisted on ordering drinks over the phone, even though I'd told him I'd be doing tea runs frequently. So I kept getting calls on my mobile from the kitchen while I was trying to carry (heavy) kitchen supplies, telling me that room <enter room number here> wants some drinks. "I KNOW!" Hmph.

This afternoon I finally tracked down the guy I went to uni with who also works at the Beeb, who took me round the Transmission Area, where they play out all the tapes to air. Probably not a terribly exciting job, but their office is more air-conditioned than our kitchen, so I might hang out there more often!

I kept feeling like I'd forgotten something at the end of my shift. Probably because this week I don't actually have to do anything before I go home, whereas last week I had to stock up the fridge, collect the cups, load the dishwasher, tidy the kitchen, clean and dismantle the coffee machine etc. before I could leave! Actually, I think I'd prefer doing that to having to get up at 6:30am!

:: Jules 9:47 PM [+] ::
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I had the most productive Sunday! Was working on Saturday and it was really quiet so spent most of the day working on my work project (redesigning the runners' drinks and run sheets), and then on Sunday I:

Cleaned the bathroom; did my washing; finished my work project; sent my camera back to Internet Cameras Direct (complete with snottogram telling them I'm not paying to have it fixed); and wrote snottograms to Sainsbury's (for their lack of Scan 'n' Packing skills), and Garnier (for only putting a tiny bit of developer milk in my last pack of hair dye! Grr...

I'm sure I saw Jeremy Paxman in the corridor yesterday! He looked a lot greyer than he does on tv though!

I'm still supposed to be at work! But there's no-one to make tea for. Would anybody like a cup of tea?

:: Jules 8:17 PM [+] ::
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Eeeeee! We were there! Did you see me? Huh? Did you did you did you?!?! We saw Dave briefly when the camera was swinging across to Beyonce, but I was right in front of the camera, grinning away, arms flapping wildly while the link was done. Hooray! Now I have to tape TOTP Saturday to see if I was in the link that Fearne did too!

You also need to watch next week's show (probably), and look out for Beyonce's crack! She recorded another version of the same track for use on a different show, and we thought that she was going to have to do it again. I thought her PR guy didn't like the fact that her hair had blown across her face several times during the performance, but apparently Beyonce (who was wearing very low-cut trousers) didn't want her crack showing! She didn't do it again though, so they'll probably edit it out, but look out for that crack nevertheless!

So it was fab, if somewhat tiring. Dave insisted on shouting, nay screaming "Blaaaaaazin' Squaaaaad!" at all the acts (especially Gary Numan). He went off to shake Gary's hand when he saw him in the crowd, then came back saying "Wasn't him". Heehee.

Ooh - the Big Brother eviction's been postponed until 9pm tomorrow due to a security alert! The housemates are all safe though. Joy.

I have to work at 8am tomorrow. Booooo!

:: Jules 9:08 PM [+] ::
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Don't forget to watch Top Of The Pops tonight at 7:30pm on BBC1! I'm wearing a pink top with plenty of cleavage showing, and Dave's wearing a purple shirt. We think we might have been in shot when the male presenter was doing the link to Beyonce, and we were dancing away to every performance (even head-nodding to Gary Numan) so we must be visible at some point. Enjoy...

:: Jules 1:58 PM [+] ::
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Why do the freaks always talk to me? Do I always forget to switch off my freak attraction button when I go out? Apparently so.

Yesterday I was told a) I'm invisible, b) I'm too shy, c) I'll never be a presenter, and d) I smile too much. All, pretty much, in one sentence. Within 3 hours of meeting me. He then went on to tell me he has trouble getting people to like him. Well duh!

Boarding the train this morning I sat behind a group of "luvvies" obviously on the way to an audition. One of them (very camp, very welsh) was telling the others about a medical he had had recently. How he was prodded and poked, had to give various "samples", couldn't work the breathalyser properly ("I blew and blew and it just wouldn't go up!"), and had his reflexes tested ("I've never had reflexes EVER!"). Other peoples' conversations are so much more interesting than mine!

I'm going to see Top Of The Pops being filmed tomorrow! Waaaaaaah! Blazin' Squad are on! Eeeeeeeee! (/sarcasm). So watch out for me on Friday. I'll be the one dancing like a dick and standing out like a, er, dick 'cos I'm taller than everyone else. Apparently the tickets say "No wrinklies". I shall confirm this tomorrow. At 22 I am probably considered a wrinklie, but I don't care. It's not every day you get the chance to point and laugh at Blazin' Squad...to their faces! I shall try my best to sneak into the Star Bar (which is tiny and crappy by the way), and get their autographs...Actually - Blazin' Squad won't be allowed in there will they - they're not old enough! Haaaahahahaha!

Ooh - I gave a cappuccino to Ruby Wax yesterday. She ignored me. But she was on the phone so she's forgiven.

Has anyone ever been on the Central Line when it's terminating at Willesden Green? The Tube Woman (i.e. voice that tells you where you are) is sooo enthusiastic about going to Willesden Green! It's great! Very uplifting on a crowded tube first thing in the morning.

...Which reminds me - I'm starting at 8:30am tomorrow. Bedtime methinks...

:: Jules 9:42 PM [+] ::
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